I have again found myself at the Heartbreak Hotel. Not really sure how I ended up here again, but I’ll spare you all of the dumb details of what I managed to figure out. I still have a few lessons to learn, apparently. That’s life though, amiright? I was left feeling a bit empty, lonely, and, well…broken-hearted. They say “turn your pain into purpose” so that’s what I decided to do.
I turned my broken heart into art and launched an Etsy shop (I’ve also been writing a TON, but more on that later). You can browse it via the big “E” at the top of the page or here:
It’s a combination of my original photography and digitally remastered antique art. I’ve fallen in love with digital restoration and retaught myself Photoshop along the way. She’s newly launched and ready to be perused!
I recently wrote a blog for the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. I was apprehensive at first, and terrified for reasons most won’t understand. But at the end of the day this feels right, and I want to share my story in an attempt to help others realize theirs’ is not over. I’m still a bit messy, and I’m still fighting demons of the past, but now I’m realizing the ways in which I’ve been ridiculously strong. My resilience is no doubt the reason I am still standing today, and I am beyond grateful for it, wherever it came from.
I haven’t written a legit blog in quite some time, I know. Call off the dogs. It’s hard to write about life when you haven’t really been living it for over 12 months. Creatively, I’ve been feeling defunct. Mentally, I have not been in the headspace to even freewrite let alone produce something that a bunch of followers will find interesting. Recently, I joined a few affiliate programs, which allows me to personally recommend products and earn commissions from purchases. I quickly found that I have a LOT of fun writing these types of blogs! My writing tends to be on the serious side more often than not (oh, poets), so this was a welcome reprieve I didn’t even know I needed. It’s crazy that it took me this long to realize, as I’ve ALWAYS been a fan of sharing my finds with friends & others. I love recommending something to someone, and having them try said recommendation and end up finding something they too love!
My friend Jenny tells me I am not allowed to stop writing, so for now, that’s what I’ve got in me. The world seems to be breathing life again, slowly but surely. Hopefully I will breathe in some of that life too.
F I N A L L Y the weather has broken and the sun is still high in the sky much later into the evening. Birds are chirping, hikers are hiking, and that can only mean one thing — Spring has sprung! I found myself needing a change in my immediate surroundings, because the same old scene after 12 months was just getting hella boring. Out with the old, in with the new! Isn’t that the motto of spring cleaning? Here I’ve cultivated a list of pieces that’ll perk up your home, in case y’all were feeling a bit dull yourselves. Enjoy! (Bonus – Momma’s Day is around the corner – get her a gift!)
“When love is the music of life, only love can make the heart sing.” Well, love and a few solid accessories, of course. Some silly boys like to claim that Vday is lame, but I’ve known a few fellas who embrace the “holiday” and have a genuine good time with it. This gift guide is for them! (You now have t-minus 10 days and counting…GO!)
The Holiday Gift Guide market is a bit saturated, let’s be honest. I’m sure the last thing anyone wanted was another list of over-priced gadgets, and I generally don’t tailor to kids, so the concept of holiday gift suggestion goes out the window. Instead, I’ve decided to put together a little list of things that made hearts happier in the hell that was 2020.
If you’re anything like me, you’re just about at the “wit’s end/over it/losing your mind” stage of quarantine (while feeling like the only one still doing it). Lately, I’ve found myself needing several pick-me-ups throughout the weeks spent Netflixing, job searching (oi), and otherwise being a modern day Cinderella in my home (right when I can’t have many guests – it’s so clean!) So I’ve been branching out a little, trying new things, and in doing so discovered brand new hobbies/activities that really help pump up my mood. I decided to ask a few of my lovely girlfriends what they have discovered helps them weather Superstorm COVID.
I buried my brother a year ago. That isn’t something I thought I’d be saying at 35. That isn’t something I thought I would be saying anytime soon. But here I am, still contending with the part of my brain that every now and then pops it’s head around the corner and says, “Wait, Mike is IN the Earth and not on it?” It’s not denial. It just proves how sudden death is, even when you see it coming.
I just ended an hours long video chat with a dear friend of mine. I’ll go as far as to say she’s one of my favorites. We text each other every day, but as for face-to-face (or the internet’s equivalent), it’s been quite some time. Seeing a familiar face that I love dearly, and immediately engaging in conversation like we had just seen each other the other day, filled me up with so much happiness. It took this call to realize how much I’ve been lacking real human connection. Granted, I’ve indulged in self-isolation more than usual lately (I’m typically equal parts loner and extrovert). But I hadn’t realized until tonight how wonderful it feels to really connect with your girlfriend.
Three years ago I made one of the best decisions of my life – I packed up my shit, stuck my kitty in a carrier (RIP Jax), swallowed my fears, left my insecurities at a United Airlines gate in Newark, and got on a one-way flight to Los Angeles.
I can’t begin to put New Orleans in a nutshell. I thought I could, but it’s just not possible, there’s too much to love. Could one stuff their visit in a carry-on? Sure. I’ve packed an epic long weekend into my bag, 7 pieces of art included. But to really divulge in the magic that is NOLA, you need at least 5 days. There’s simply too much to see. And too much to eat. And too much jazz to flood your music-loving soul. And apparently too much for me to ever take enough photos of.
I’ve been thinking about my blog. For the record, I hate the word blog, mainly because it’s so LA, and everyone’s a fucking blogger in this city. But it being so focused on the aspect of dating in LA has started to irk me. I used to get amusement out of my dates- I thought, at the very least, it’s an experience that I can write about and, hey, everyone else in this godforsaken city (that I love so much) is going through the same thing.
SO. I’ve been MIA. I know, I launched this thing and then said “just kidding” and disappeared. My life has sucked beyond the telling of it lately. I won’t bore you all with all of the leaden details, but for one, my brother died in early July and I just have not been feeling uber creative these days. The desire to write kind of left me and I’ve been desperately trying to find it again.
Ahhh wine country. It’s a place Californians know and love. A place where one goes to take a vacation, long weekend, or day trip to just relax and drink some of the best vino this corner of the United States.
To some, however, it’s a reminder of the douchebaggery that coincides with living in Los Angeles. One example is my first date with a dude from Hinge (you know, the more reputable dating app).
I’d been talking to Captain Dodger for about two weeks. He seemed legit, despite having a 17 year old kid at 40 that I didn’t really question (ladies, go ahead and question this). We had pretty good conversation, even to the point where I enjoyed hearing from him. He was your standard pretty/white boy/could possibly be in a boy band circa 98 degrees guy, but given the conversation, I thought, “Hey he has a brain”. Also, THE INTERNET IS A LIE.